A question i have too sometimes:
Question: If you only live in the now, what would stop someone who is in a relationship or marriage from resisting the temptation to have sex with anyone who is attractive but who is not his/her partner? After all, if you are in the now and see someone attractive, you want to have sex with them now?
Answer: Does living in the Now mean giving in to every impulse that arises? Then all those people who chase one sexual partner after another must be enlightened.
As long as you want something from another (such as sex), are you present? Or are you seeking to reach some point in the future that promises fulfillment? (And thereby making the present moment as well as the other person into a means to an end.) All wanting implies that the future is more desirable than the present, does it not?
It is inevitable that physical attraction towards another person will sometimes occur. That’s no more than part of nature. When you identify with that impulse, it becomes “you” and turns into wanting. The other person then becomes a means to an end – the end being sex, the attainment of the object of your desire. When you are present, you can observe the attraction or the sexual feeling within yourself, recognize it as natural, accept it, even enjoy it without needing to act it out. After all, it may be totally inappropriate to do so within the totality of the situation. When you recognize yourself as the space of consciousness in which the impulse arises, you don’t become the impulse; you don’t lose yourself in it. Being present is being the space, rather than what happens.
Question: If you only live in the now, what would stop someone who is in a relationship or marriage from resisting the temptation to have sex with anyone who is attractive but who is not his/her partner? After all, if you are in the now and see someone attractive, you want to have sex with them now?
Answer: Does living in the Now mean giving in to every impulse that arises? Then all those people who chase one sexual partner after another must be enlightened.
As long as you want something from another (such as sex), are you present? Or are you seeking to reach some point in the future that promises fulfillment? (And thereby making the present moment as well as the other person into a means to an end.) All wanting implies that the future is more desirable than the present, does it not?
It is inevitable that physical attraction towards another person will sometimes occur. That’s no more than part of nature. When you identify with that impulse, it becomes “you” and turns into wanting. The other person then becomes a means to an end – the end being sex, the attainment of the object of your desire. When you are present, you can observe the attraction or the sexual feeling within yourself, recognize it as natural, accept it, even enjoy it without needing to act it out. After all, it may be totally inappropriate to do so within the totality of the situation. When you recognize yourself as the space of consciousness in which the impulse arises, you don’t become the impulse; you don’t lose yourself in it. Being present is being the space, rather than what happens.
(from 'dear eckhart')
posted by naveen at
9:22 PM
3 Comments:
If you only live in the now, what would stop someone who is in a relationship or marriage from resisting the temptation to have sex with anyone who is attractive but who is not his/her partner? After all, if you are in the now and see someone attractive, you want to have sex with them now?
Life in the "now" should be followed by some justice towards the things around, like your partner... if a person practices the "now" in all its essence, the attractive stranger would never pose as a distraction...
By
Anonymous, at Thursday, October 23, 2008
I do understand the importance of now and immersing ourselves into the current moment, but don't you think that now always comprises of leveraging past knowledge and hopes of the future. A simple example would be you reading the book Power of Now, which is a compilation of past knowledge of someone promising you a better future!
By
Noel, at Sunday, August 09, 2009
@noel: sure maams, being in the momment isn't a denial of the past or the future. It only means, The Now is all that there is right now :)
makes sense?
By
Naveen, at Monday, August 10, 2009
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