He wanted to know himself, so he started reading a book. Since that didn't help he went and bought another 500, and read 200 of them. he still buys books.

Can child abuse cause schizophrenia? a question i have been grappling with for so long now.. and not just schizophrenia, but other personality disorders as well. borderline, bi-polar etc. Things have been esp difficult since main stream psychiatry seems to be pretty hollow in its understanding of most things psychological/spiritual.

Voice from the Dark.



Very vast indeed, was the forest. Huge trees stood in endless rows. They entwined each other warmly, and danced with joyous waves in the air. Such was the thickness of the forest that even the blinding light of hot summer days was not visible on the ground. No human dared tread on these grounds.

It was midnight. On all sides darkness enveloped the forest. And the darkness within was like the darkness in the womb of the earth. The birds and other creatures were all in deep sleep. A heavy silence compounded the blackness of this forest. On such a night in the midst of the forest, a human voice broke the silence by saying, ‘Shall I ever attain my hearts desire?’

When silence returned, no one could ever believe that he had heard a human voice in such a forest! And yet, after a little while, the same voice cried out again, ‘Shall I ever attain my hearts desire?’

A third time the silence was thus disturbed when another voice inquired: ‘What can you sacrifice to win your heart’s desire?”

‘My life itself!’ was the reply.

‘Life is so insignificant that it is the simplest thing for anyone to sacrifice!’

‘What more have I? What else can I offer?’

‘Devotion! My friend, devotion!’ declared the voice from above.


(- Thus opens the most explosive piece of literature in British India.)

The Great Debate



Truth is One. The essence of Zen and the essence of Advaita are the same. Atleast as far as i can see it. The Buddhists and the Hindus are debating this for 2500 years now. Over which is 'greater'. Many times resulting in violent purges and counter-purges all over South East Asia. But there is no difference at all. The essence of both is the same.

i first came across this debate at the Abhishiktananda Centenary Conference, when Fr. AMA Swamy made some provocative statements on the superiority of Zen. It was a lil surprising to hear these coming from the 'only ordained Zen master in the Country'. We don't know what his real intentions were in making them, but i have come across this divide often since, and wondered why?

And its not that i have only seen these two sides clash. Recently some Buddhist Monks had to be put up in Chennai , en route their pilgrimage to Sri Lanka. Since the number was slightly large, we had requested the Samvit Sagar Ashram in Utthandi if they'd be able to host them. They readily agreed, and apparently when Swami Suddhananda heard that these were monks, directed his ashramites not to charge any money for the stay. The Buddhists for their part, touched by the hospitality, insisted on paying more than required as a donation towards the Ashram proceedings. Even though the stay was only for a night, it was clear both sides were touched by the contact. The next morning i got a call from the Ashram, thanking for the link-up. And the Buddhist friends left behind some thoughtful gifts in appreciation.

I AM. And even the I AM dissolves into a Silence.